How to break up with someone you love
|How to break up with someone you love|
How to break up with someone you love: To end a relationship unilaterally is to signify to the other that we no longer want to be with them and that we prefer to be alone with them.
Whether this relationship is full of feelings or not, the person left does not leave unscathed from this rupture which will be the cause of a questioning and loss of self-confidence: “I am not good enough for him”.
So, should we tell the truth or find an excuse How to break up with someone you love?
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Do you really need to end this relationship?
First of all, is your decision to end your relationship thoughtfully.
I had already addressed this subject in a previous article which asked the question: How to break up with someone you love ?
This question is not trivial. It requires reflection in order to ask the right questions before making a decision.
I think there is no standard answer and that everyone, according to their expectations of a relationship, will have to choose whether or not to continue their relationship.
On the other hand, if there is only one question to ask, it is to know if we are happy in our relationship and if we think that it can evolve.
Staying in a relationship without being happy does not make sense, unless you have personal constraints that make you have no choice (at least in the short term).
You can’t stay with someone, just because you don’t want to hurt them. It would be a humanly remarkable situation (putting the happiness of the other before his own), but a relationship is built in two and the two people must be happy to be together.
In some situations, we love without being in love, and this is a little more difficult.
Are we really unhappy or are we asking too much of life? Question of point of view and expectation of a relationship that differs according to each of us.
We are often dissatisfied because we are always missing something. Sometimes we think that the grass is greener elsewhere when it is not.
I therefore advise you to do a job of analyzing what you gain and lose in your breakup.
How to break up with someone you love Tell the truth or find an excuse to break up?
First, telling the truth can hurt.
And if you want to be too sincere and honest, you can hurt a lot.
If I leave my girlfriend and say, “I’m leaving you because you’re a boring girl,” I’m going to hurt her.
It’s a judgment on my part on who she is. I question her identity. It can hurt her a lot , especially if she lacks self-confidence.
Instead, I could say, “I am leaving you because we are too different”.
What is in the same state of mind but which is no longer a judgment on who it is. break up with someone you love
In fact, everything that is in the realm of judgment should be avoided.
You have to know how to be a psychologist, a diplomat and try to find the best angle of approach and the right words to leave it.
In other situations, it helps to tell the truth.
When it’s best to tell the truth
break up with someone you love If you are in a relationship with a jealous person, that you have never had anything to reproach yourself but that you cannot any more, you must tell the truth.
Because jealousy kills love.
And if you leave that person without telling them what made your story fail, they won’t question themselves.
She will continue to have this behavior in the future and will systematically fail in her love stories.
By being sincere with her, you will help her to improve and be happier in her future.
There are other situations where one should be sincere for the good of the other. For example when you leave your partner to put yourself with someone else.
In this type of situation, we tend to hide the truth when we should be telling the truth. Because if you lie to him, your ex will take longer to recover from the breakup.
If you don’t tell her the truth, after the breakup, since you’ve been lying, she’ll be based on what you told her.
She will question herself, she will probably feel guilty, she will regret certain things that she did, she may think that you are going to come back, etc.
Then a few months later, as she begins to recover from the breakup, she learns that you started to couple very quickly after the breakup.
She will understand and learn the truth . You know it.
She will take it badly, she will ask herself tons of questions again. She will wonder why you did this. She will wonder if you cheated on her. She will hold it against you.
She will call you and blame you for lying or getting back with someone quickly.
Even worse, she will suffer twice and over a much longer period.
You will understand: it is better in this case to be honest and to tell the truth.
You will not avoid suffering but the person left will be able to advance more quickly in their love life following the breakup.
Also, by being honest, you will convey more positive feelings about him than if you lie to him.
Generally, in this type of situation, we want to preserve the other, and we lie.
In the end, the opposite effect occurs: you generate more suffering by lying than if you had told the truth.
In this type of situation, telling the truth hurts more in the short term but is much more positive in the medium and long term for the person left.
So if you’ve decided to break up, think carefully about the approach and the words you’re going to use.
Don’t be selfish and think of the other.
And it is not because you have been made to suffer in the past that you have to tell certain truths just to have your revenge.
Love is not an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth.
Love is knowing how to forgive and not to hurt the other unnecessarily.
On a close subject, I advise you to read the article on the languages of Love.
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